Hey Taylor, welcome to our town: James Valentine

Last week, ABC Radio Melbourne’s Sammy J wrote a song to welcome Taylor Swift to his city.

Speaking to James Valentine, Sammy J challenged the ABC Radio Sydney afternoon presenter to do the same to welcome Taylor to Sydney.

So he did, going one better than Sammy by inviting his listeners to contribute to the lyrics, jiggling them to tell her what to expect when she visits Sydney for the Eras Tour, and giving advice such as avoiding the troubled Roselle Interchange, to the tune of Taylor’s 1989 hit Blank Space.


Hey Taylor, welcome to our town
Hope the city treats you well,
But make sure your driver knows
Don’t go through Rozelle 

Bid on a house while you’re here
Ask your people to explain  negative gear
Knock it down and sue your neighbour
then you can deduct the labour
Swim with bluebottles at Manly or Bondi
Get to Penrith and try out the Pondi 

On the M7 it’s not so far
Hey, is it true you’ll headline the Mardi Gras
Hey Taylor here’s a thing you might do
After your show takes three hours to get back to Barangaroo 

Then you and Travis go and get a pie floater
From a caravan that’s famous for pie floaters
Everyone went there in the fifties
You could make it hip with the swifties
Finish off with a butter chicken kebab mmm
That’s all that’s open after 9pm  

Koala selfie at the koala park
Jump off a pier and swim with the bull sharks
Get a snag at a Bunnings sausage sizzle
Sit on our trains coz the day has turned drizzle

Shake it off don’t make a fuss
You’ll get there soon on a replacement bus
Go to Henson Park and watch the Newtown Jets

Download the app and place a dozen bets
Down the road, get a pork roll with the PM

On the way home get a wave from Danny Lim
So enjoy our town, and have a great show will ya

You’re at the only place in town where the mulch won’t kill ya

Listen to the song on ABC Radio Sydney


James Valentine was a member of Jo Jo Zep (1982), Models (1984–87) and Absent Friends (1989–90) in his music career. He plays saxophone and keyboards amongst other instruments.


Tags: | |