On Nova 100’s breakfast show, hosts Jase Hawkins, Lauren Phillips and Clint Stanaway took the Victoria Police entrance exam. Two passed with flying colours. One, Jase, might not be looking at a future career in blue.

Regular guest of the show Superintendent Wayne “Cheesy” Cheesman set them the challenge of watching a video and describing the crime scene.

Cheesy: You were very, very good, Lauren. Your observations were highly accurate, uniquely descriptive. You even talked about the hair length indicated by the placement on the female’s anatomy. You used the word weapon down the pants, which was very descriptive and provides quite a visual description to the listener… you talked about the female subject’s fashion.. you gave a description that was passionate, passion, and you made it clear that fashion crimes are very serious matters.

Clint, you were also very good. You have a strong mastery of the vocabulary, using such terms as remonstrating and affray, but then you use more colloquial language, such as a full blown barney, so you mix it up. Lauren mentioned before that you were sitting at opposite ends of the table, but the testers thought that you were in collusion with Lauren… and potentially at the risk of cheating.

Despite the feedback from Clint and Lauren, you were described as brief, succinct and efficient, understood the event and provided just the facts with no embellishment. You had clear pronunciation, tone and volume, and it would be thought that you would be very good at the dog squad, where you have to bark orders at the dog, very quickly and very succinctly.

Lauren: So that was just one part of it. We did the literacy, we did the numeracy, we did all the other things. And you have our results of the police test. Who is the least likely to be accepted?

Cheesy: Unfortunately, Jase didn’t make it… had some problems with the numeracy.

Lauren: But if you think he’s got problem with the numeracy, wait till we get to the fitness test!