I’m a Prick, is the title of Chapter 15 in Kyle Sandilands’ new book. In it he explains what he did that provoked Ron E Sparks to ‘flip out’ at 2Day FM.

In Chapter 15, with uncharacteristic repentance, Kyle tells his version of the events that led Ron E Sparks to write anti-smoking slogans all over the walls of the 2Day FM. Read the extract and answer the question at the bottom of this story, for your chance to win a copy of Scandalands.

During the early days of the Hot 30 Countdown, Jackie and I smoked like chimneys. In the breaks Jackie would run up to the rooftop, have a quick cigarette then race back to the studio. I found the whole thing extremely disruptive to the flow of the show, so I came up with a new rule: ‘It’s now okay to smoke in the studio.’ Of course that was not only against station rules, it was also illegal. Despite that, Jackie and I would puff away in the studio every night; the smoke became so think we’d sometimes be unable to see each other across the desk! The producers were very good at setting up the studios for us before the show.

When Jackie and I would sit down we’d each have an empty milk bottle with an inch or two of water in it waiting for us on our desks. By the end of the night the milk bottles would be full of ash and cigarette butts. The producers would throw the milk bottles out in the big industrial bins downstairs, so that no one knew we had been smoking.

I was an absolute idiot back then to have honestly believed that, just because there was no ash in the studio, somehow the wool was being pulled over people’s eyes and they didn’t know what we were up to.

Legendary radio personality Ron E Sparks had the misfortune to use our studio the morning after the show. Anyone who’s anything in radio reveres Ron E Sparks – he has the greatest voice and knows everything about every single band and artist that’s every released music. Sparks would drop by our office to raise the issue of smoking in the studio, but I was always too star struck by his presence to remember what he’d said. I honestly didn’t keep smoking in there out of spite or defiance; I was just a giant dummy with a terrible memory.

One morning, just like every other morning. Ron E Sparks came into work and opened the studio door. As usual, he had to endure the disgusting smell of stale cigarette smoke we had disrespectfully left behind. However, when he looked around the studio on this particular morning the butt-filled milk bottles hadn’t been thrown in the bin: they were right there on top of the panel.

What happened next was a Sparks flip out that I want to go on the record as saying I completely and utterly understand and agree with.

With a permanent marker he wrote ‘Don’t fucking smoke’ all over the studio walls, the equipment, the speakers and even the computer screens. He then got the crusty milk bottles and sprayed the contents all over our offices and, finally, for his piece de resistance, he dumped a mountain of ash and cigarette butts on the carpet outside our general manager’s office.

As I said Sparks was well within his rights – he had complained, a million times to everyone at the station about the smoking situation… and, besides, I was a disrespectful thirty year old brat who needed a good arse-kicking. After the incident we never saw Ron E Sparks at the station again.

If you would like to win one of three copies of Scandalands, email [email protected] with the answer to this question:

What did Kyle and Jackie put their cigarette butts in?

Tell us your name, contact details and delivery address in the email.

Winners will be drawn at random next Friday, from those who submit the correct answer. Winners will be notified directly and announced next Monday (29 October) here on radioinfo.

Scandalands is published by Pan Macmillan Australia, RRP $34.99. Details here.