Gillard confirms end is nigh via Triple J

The Prime Minister has sent a message to triple j listeners, to confirm that the apocalypse will in fact happen on Friday.

Addressing her fellow Australians by video message she says…

‘The end of the world is coming. It wasn’t Y2K, it wasn’t even the carbon price. It turns out that the Mayan Calendar was true. While Australia’s best and brightest at the CSIRO have not been able to confirm this, I’m confident in triple j’s prediction that the world is about to end. Whether the final blow comes from flesh eating zombies, demonic hell beasts or from the total triumph of K-Pop, if you know one thing about me, it is this, I will always fight for you until the very end. And at least this means I won’t have to do Q&A again. Good luck to you all.’

The Mayans are said to have predicted total global destruction for Friday 7 December 2012.

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In a bold attempt at surviving the nuclear fallout and duck plague that is sure to ensue, Triple J’s Tom and Alex have decided to broadcast their last show live from the ABC bunker – built to survive the strongest of apocalypses as well as house Kerry O’Brien’s collection of fine wines. The broadcast will begin at 6am.

They will be joined by comedian Tim Minchin who will be performing the final Like A Version of all time, as well as sportswoman Ellyse Perry, a Children’s Choir, and a bunch of carefully selected triple j listeners who will be used as baby incubators and/or food to help in the human race’s survival.