BRAKING NEWS
In a bold plan to bolster the struggling 2DayFM breakfast team and at the same time disrupt the opposing juggernaut at KIIS, SCA has been in secret negotiations to lure Jackie Henderson away from long time on air partner Kyle Sandilands.
Inside sauces have told radioinfo that it has been long rumoured that Jackie has become tired of people using the letter O as if that were her second name as well as playing second banana to Sandilands. She wanted her own show where she’d be ‘top banana and not paid peanuts.’
The negotiations took place over a two week period during the Christmas break. SCA had tracked her down while holidaying in the UK. To avoid suspicion from Kyle and her current employer ARN, they used fake email addresses and a network of VPNs over the dark web to communicate. Contracts were exchanged within days and a sign on fee of $5 million was deposited in a Swiss bank account in favour of Ms Henderson.
In an email clinching the deal, leaked to radioinfo, Ms Henderson wrote: “Although I have no idea why you chose me, given that I have no experience as a disc jockey, thank you for the opportunity to do something I have always dreamed of.
“BTW, I don’t want to make a fuss but that 5 million Australian Dollars only converts to about 2,737,905.45 British Pounds. What gives?”
An insider, close to the negotiations told us, on condition of anonymity, that something about that email set off alarm bells among senior brass at SCA. After a top level investigation it was found that the job of tracking down Ms Henderson was given to a work experience kid who was on school holidays.
As it turns out the kid, who was studying at the Conservatory of Music, only listened to ABC Classic FM and had no idea who Kyle and Jackie O (Henderson) was. Rather than admit her inexperience she turned to Google and found a Jackie Henderson in the UK on facebook. Unfortunately this Jackie Henderson was a postal worker in Bournemouth who has now pocketed $5 mil and is keen to fulfil her contract to head up the Breakfast Show on 2Day FM.
We’ll bring you developments if they come to hand.
In other April Fools’ news, on hearing of Jackie Henderson taking the helm of her Breakfast Show Em Rusciano has quit 2Day and has been recruited by ABC Sydney to join Robbie Buck on Breakfast in an effort to add some ‘attitude’ to Aunty’s line-up.
Note: The typos are real. Did we catch you? This was an April Fools Day joke! – Ed.